These days, everyone seems to be talking about SEO standards — that is to say, whether there should be any standards. This, to me at least, is an adorably cute question.

Regardless of if we want standards, “need” standards (as prescribed by some outside entity) or care one way or the other about them, they’ll never be enforceable.

Seriously, who or what could police the Internet? The most sophisticated Net users are typically those who break the rules, the hackers. It’s not that I don’t think a hacker wouldn’t get a kick out of policing SEO practices, it’s just that I think they have better things to do.

Not only that, but let’s, for argument’s sake, say that we were to attempt to develop a set of SEO standards. Who, pray tell, would come up with these? A government entity? A conglomeration of SEO professionals?

Come on now, have any of you been watching the John Adams mini-series? Notice how well the delegates to the Continental Congress worked together? Yeah, they didn’t — and that was kinda a life and death situation, this isn’t.

I imagine the squabbling that would go on between SEOs would look something like the amazing politicking that happened between the pirate leaders in the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Lots of shouting, little of anything getting accomplished, but certainly a fun time.

Moral of the story: if we ever attempt to do anything as silly as get some “official” SEO standards, sign me up for the conference, because I’m sure it’ll be a wild and crazy, but ultimately unproductive (as far as the standards go) time!